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Home > Understanding > Helping Opponents Win > Things Some Parents Do

See below for injuries that happen when focus is lost

Things Some Parents Do To Help Opponents Win

Positive cheering from a sideline or bleachers is a great way to show positive encouragement and support for players and their team. 

              "Parents can't focus and perform well when others,
                 including their children, are interrupting them."

            "Players can't focus and learn to play well when their
                  parents and others are constantly interrupting them." *

*Often comments come to late, can't be heard or are ignored by players focused on learning to play well.

Yelling instructions and negative criticism from a sideline or bleacher often helps opponents by causing the:
  • player to lose focus and suffer an injury that requires an emergency room visit, hospital stay and up to a year for recovery,
  • player to lose focus which helps their opponents,
  • player to listen to a bad instruction from the sideline and making an error that helps their opponents,
  • player to be told one thing by the parent while the coach has told them to do something else,
  • player to be embarrassed by what is yelled and decide to stop playing in the game and/or to quit the team,
  • player's "working memory" to be overloaded causing an error in decision making that helps their opponents (see Chunking for Success),
  • player to be substituted out of the game by the coach for not sticking to the team's game plan.

Injuries Happen When Players Lose Focus

In a game in 2010, on a field in the USA, a parent yelled what they thought was a helpful instruction to their child. Their child respectfully turned to listen, lost focus and a hard shot hit them in the back of the head. They fell and hit their head again on the ground when they landed. 

The result was an Emergency Room visit, hospitalization for observation, headaches, dizzy spells, problems keeping up in school and almost a year of no outside activities or sports.

Sports are safest when players are allowed to focus on their playing well, playing safe and learning. Practices are for teaching and training players how to play the game well and safely. 

Coaches, assistants and parents should encourage players to focus on playing well and safely, set a good example by not yelling instructions that break focus in games and do their teaching in practices where players can safely give their complete focus to learning what is being taught.

Children Quit Sports When Playing Is No Longer Fun

Generations ago most households survived on one parent's income and children spent much of their time outdoors playing with neighborhood friends, doing chores and often working on the family farm or for the family business. 

In 2015 many more families live in or near large cities and there is less free time for parents and their children to share together. Children now go to school during the day and participate in community activities and sports after school hours and on weekends. And the time parents have to be at the activities their children participate in has become increasing limited.

Parents have always wanted what is best for their children, for them to successful and for them to grow up and do well. Children have always wanted their parents acceptance, support and love. And with far too little time to share there is too much pressure on both . . . one to encourage and nurture . . . the other to be encouraged and nurtured. 


The result, as evidenced by the studies below, is many children quitting the activities they love because they are no longer fun because there is a failure between parents and their children to communicate mutual acceptance, support and love. 

According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports 70% of all children quit playing sports by age 13. The primary reasons cited are the sport is no longer fun because of "pressure from coaches and parents", "lack of playing time", "they are not learning to play better" or "they feel they are not good enough" and/or they want to try something new and exciting. Bibliography - National Alliance for Youth Sport: 2015, Feb 11:

According to a survey of children playing youth sports by Sports Illustrated for Kids 
  • 74% of children playing sports have seen adults acting out of control,
  • 37% of children playing sports have seen adults yelling at kids,
  • 36% of children playing sports cited feeling embarrassment at watching bad adult behavior, and
  • 4% of children playing sports have seen violent behavior by adults.
Bibliography - Sports Illustrated for Kids: 2001, August:

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   Things Players Do 1-5   
   Things Players Do 6-10
   Things Players Do 11-15
   Things Players Do 16-20

   Things Parents Do

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